Ah the holidays, the most wonderful and most STRESSFUL time of the year. Some people love them, some people hate them. However you feel about them personally, the fact is they are still going to happen. But this year, instead of letting all that stress get to us and burn us out in time for the new year, we are going to cope ahead! Read on to learn some practical holiday stress relief tips that you can start practising today.
Why the Holidays Can Be Especially Stressful
Before we jump into ways to cope ahead with holiday stress, let’s first consider why the holidays are so stressful. This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but let’s take a look at some of the reasons that the holidays can be particularly stressful.
Increased Exposure to Triggers and Stressors
Quick, think of some of your top triggers. I guarantee you at least some of them will be present during holiday festivities. Whether it’s strained family relationships, financial stress, struggles with food or alcohol, or Uncle Bob’s yearly hateful rant at the dinner table – the holidays are chalk full of triggers and stressors, all thrown into one room!
Grief Takes Centre Stage
It’s common for us to really notice the absence of loved ones during the holiday season. We no longer have the distractions of day-to-day life, and the holidays are usually a time for family and friends to get together. It’s natural that we might be feeling more grief during these times, which can diminish our ability to cope with stress.
Shifting from Go-Go-Go to Having Time Off
Many people have time off during the holidays. This sudden shift from busy to having too much time on our hands can actually be quite triggering for our nervous systems. Especially if you have a tendency of using over-scheduling and overworking as a coping strategy.
A Break from Routines and Habits
Many of our daily habits and routines contribute to our overall wellbeing. Cue the holidays, which have a tendency to throw off our regular rituals that typically help us to reduce stress.
Physical and Mental Health Are Prioritized Less
Along with letting our regular routines slip, we may unintentionally prioritize our physical and mental health less. It might be that you have less time to fit in your regular run or journaling practice. Or maybe your access to services that support your wellbeing has been paused – many healthcare professionals tend to take time off over the holidays, recreational activities are typically paused, the gym’s hours may be reduced, etc.
Overstimulation of Our Senses and Nervous System
The holidays come with a lot of sensory stimuli. Some of this is great – pretty twinkling lights, nostalgic scents, tasty food. But all of this happening in a crowded, super loud room can be a lot for anyone to handle.
Holiday Stress Relief Tips to Help You Cope Ahead for the Holidays
Now that we know why the holidays can be so stressful, we can be proactive about it! When we cope ahead, we are considering the things that are most likely to trigger us and stress us out, and we are coming up with a plan to prevent that or at least make it feel less bad. If you have no idea how to do this, have no fear! Here are some easy ways to relieve stress this holiday season:
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!
No list of holiday stress relief tips would be complete if it didn’t mention boundaries! There is a simple truth that I want you to accept now: You are not going to be able to please everyone this holiday season. It’s just not possible. So with that in mind, decide what YOU actually want (and what you DON’T want), and start brainstorming some boundaries to support that.
I get it, setting boundaries can be scary. This is why we are putting in the work ahead of time. Once you’ve decided on the boundaries that you want, I want you to come up with some simple scripts. These are the things you are going to say when it comes time to set and maintain your boundaries.
Pro tip: Keep it simple – you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your boundaries. And practice these scripts so that they just roll off the tongue when the time comes to actually use them.
Don’t Forget the Self-Compassion
With all the triggers surrounding the holidays, you are at higher risk of feeling guilt and shame. Unless you are going around purposely hurting someone, these emotions are lying to you. When you notice these feelings coming up, counter them with some self-compassion.
You are human and you are doing your best, and there is no point wasting your time by shaming yourself for feeling anxious, or for spending more money than you planned, or for eating 3 servings of dessert.
Keep Up Your Routines
Are there things that you do on the regular that support your wellbeing? If so, I want you to pick the most important ones and put them into your schedule throughout the holiday season. These are commitments that you are making to yourself, and they are just as important (if not more so) than all those plans you agreed to.
I don’t expect you to keep up your full routine, especially if you are super busy. I just want you to prioritize yourself more, instead of dropping your needs down to the bottom of your to-do list. These wellness habits are the things that are going to keep you chill going into all those work functions and family dinners!
Schedule in Checkpoints
Similarly, consider scheduling yourself some checkpoints throughout the next month. These are an opportunity to slow down, check in with yourself and support your wellbeing. These could be appointments with your therapist, life coach or massage therapist, a coffee date with a supportive friend, a solo date, etc.
Put Together a Coping Kit
Show up prepared to all your holiday commitments with a personalized coping kit. This will include small, sensory items that help to keep you grounded. You can keep them in your pockets, your wallet, your purse or your car – whatever works for you! It could include some fidget toys, your favourite tea, and/or a bottle of grounding essential oil. Feel free to check out this post for some inspiration.
Build Those Neural Muscles
Got any favourite breathing exercises, visualization strategies or other coping skills that help you to manage stress and anxiety? You will definitely need these throughout the holidays, but I actually want you to practice them ahead of time. The more we use these strategies, the more we change our brain by building new neural pathways. This makes it easier to respond to stress in a healthy way when it’s happening.
I like to think of it like going to the gym. You’re not going to do 10 bicep curls and suddenly be John Cena. You need to show up regularly and build those bad boys up over time. Same goes with building neural pathways – practising our strategies little and often instead of just once will have the most benefit!
Let Your Inner Child Out to Play
The holidays offer a wonderful opportunity to connect with your inner child. And it’s hard to feel stressed when you’re playing and having fun! Think about what you enjoyed most about the holidays as a child. Then consider how you can incorporate more of that into your holiday plans this year.
Stumped? See if any of these ideas excite the child in you:
- Decorate a tree (without a colour scheme – we’re going for fun, not something that could end up in Aesthetically Pleasing Magazine)
- Bake (or buy) some cookies and decorate them with icing and sprinkles
- Make some hot chocolate with marshmallows and watch a cartoon classic
- Do some holiday crafts
- Make a snow man or a snow angel
Manage Your Expectations
This will be your new mantra – I can do anything, just not everything. It’s not humanly possible to say yes to everything asked of us. Scratch that, it may technically be possible, but not while being truly present for everything and actually enjoying yourself. So, consider what is most important to you and use that as your guide as you accept and turn down plans this season.
Practice Mindfulness
If we are fully in the present moment, we aren’t stressing about the past or worrying about the future. This is why challenging yourself to be more present and mindful this holiday season is a great way to prevent stress. When you find your mind racing off to other things (and it will do this a lot), gently pull yourself back to what is in front of you. You deserve to actually enjoy yourself this holiday!
Conclusion
Give yourself the gift of calm this holiday season by coping ahead. I challenge you to use some of these holiday stress relief tips to support your wellbeing. The sooner you start, the more benefit you will see – although it’s never too late to proactively support your wellbeing!
PS – looking for some more ways to manage stress? Check out these posts:
